Crunch-Wrap….
SUUUPPPREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMMME
(it actually was not that bad, despite the cheese being the kind of non-dairy liquid which turns to a fine mist the second it enters your mouth, and the meat being made of recycled animal dongs and old copies of USA Today)
We finished our Junk Food Odyssey today.
White Castle and Taco Bell.
From White Castle, I got this #1 Sack Meal (actual name!!) containing 4 original sliders, some chips (actually: “Regular Fry”) and a coke (“fountain beverage”).
From Taco Bell, I got a Crunchwrap Supreme (tm), a photo of which unfortunately follows.
Now we’re all lying around in assorted food comas.
God Bless America.
We also visited the Met(ropolitan Museum of Art).
I think we could have spent every day of our New York stay here and still not seen everything. As it was we were there for hours and only saw most (not all!) of one wing.
Opposite to the MoMA, the Met had the strange effect on me of making me realise that 99.999% of everything is complete and utter shit, and that nothing I ever do will mean anything. So… yay?
We also went to the Sex Museum. This is probably the tamest photo I could have taken there.
Note: RealDolls are just as creepy in life as you would imagine. Something about their cold, dead eyes and bizarre proportions.
and we’re back.
I think we’re kinda getting burned out on walking nine hours a day and having crappy internet all up ins, so this blog has not been maintained as it should have for most of this week. I apologise for this.
Anyway, I’m gonna dump a few photos now from our time in and on New York.
(I’m sorry about this one though Lizzie)
MoMA, I’m home.
For a fairly solid little-over-a decade, I’ve been dying to visit the Museum of Modern Art. Ever since I heard of the place in my 8th grade art class and all the wonders it supposedly held. The photos in my textbooks all had ‘From the collection of The Museum of Modern Art, New York’ tagged along the bottom, essays detailed its collections and all those that studied there in residence or performed there as part of their installations.
MoMA has been my spiritual home since I was 13 years old. And today I finally got to see it.
Anything I say from this point would just be garbled flailing and nonsensicals; I cried when I found the Frida Kahlo works, discussed the Spanish writing and music scrawled across the top of Self-Portrait with Cropped Hair with an elderly lady who was equally emotional over seeing them. I saw the Lichenstein and Warhols, a gallery over from the Picassos, the Cezannes and the Munchs. Dali’s Persistence of Memory, van Gogh’s Starry Night, Picasso’s Guitars series… it’s just… I can’t even. These are works I have read about, studied, wrote about, compared, contrasted, dissected and HERE THEY WERE.
This was the only place I was dead-set on seeing this trip, and I’ve been humbled completely by it.
Bah bah. Bah bah bah bah bah baaah. Bah bahbahbah bah BAH bah.
Ah, Central Park.
Despite the fact that it was significantly colder today than Google Goddamn Weather led us to beleive, and that none of the beautiful old American elms in the park had any leaves, and that it mostly smelled pretty overwhelmingly of poo… where was I?
Right! Central Park was beautiful. It’s very strange, because you essentially step from the dirty criss-cross of streets (around 60th or something, I forget, but only 5 or so blocks from where we’re staying) and into this huge expanse of grass and paths and trees. Go over one little hill and suddenly you’re completely out of the city - just people jogging and walking dogs and having picnics. But look up and just above the trees there’s this huge imposing skyline. I guess it’d be different outside of winter when the trees have their leaves, but for me and at this time it was very surreal.
We went looking for the zoo but couldn’t find it (inexplicably) so we ended up just wandering around, seeing some breakdancing and a few places we recognised from movies, before winding up basically back where we started. Whoops! I’m sure the zoo’s in there somewhere. We’ll find it later this week.
It’s so strange to think that today we spent eight or nine hours walking around, without much repetition in routes, and still only saw a tiny amount - not of the city, but of the half of Manhattan we’re staying on.
Oh, right! We saw the Empire State Building too, but that is a story for tomorrow.
Also, friends, family: the time is now. Press the link at the top of the BLAM page and request your gifts. This is your last chance. I guess you could also email or facebook or @ or DM or… well, you get it. We’re wired.
So. New York City.
This is a cliche, but New York is the most incredible city on this whole stupid planet. It goes on forever in all directions and is filled with everything you could possibly consider. Hyperbole aside, it is both old and new, beautiful and hideous. You could buy anything in here; you could see anything.
Case in point: Times Square.
Tonight we visitied Times Square (yes, on a Saturday night) after dinner at a cute little chocolate and wine bar on West 31st St (note how mentioning even this basic street name adds a touch of class, of cosmopolitan chic to the story).
Times Square (see above) is a screaming, searing shitstorm (alliteration: and they said I couldn’t write!). It isn’t even a square - it’s a collection of intersections, thronged with the howling masses and surrounded on all sides by brightly-lit monoliths. I guess there’s hotels and shops and such behind there but all you can see and hear is this blitz on the senses.
Most of the other photos don’t really do it justice.
Next: Central Park!
Also, I bought another Nerf gun. I am five.
